Friday, August 11, 2006

11 August 2006


Men Are Just Happier People--

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name
stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of
themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You
can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You
can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas
station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to
stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more
pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress~$5000. Tux rental~$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The
occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes
don't
cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone
conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all
your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still
be
your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of
shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in
public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color. The same
hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your
face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly
usually
hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for
all
seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can
"do"
your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning
growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on
December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier. Send this to the women who can handle
it and to the men who will enjoy reading it.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Charlie,
Sand flea's must be working on you.

John

Tubulcain420 said...

well, are we equal, or has evolution kicked in?
lol

Navy Aunt said...

New to your blog and I love it. I chuckle everytime I read this, I've sent it to many a unit at Al Asad. I'm an anysoldier.com junkie and hope they've enjoyed it like I do.