Ten reasons NOT to become a Freemason

The Top Ten Reasons *NOT* to become a Freemason.
(1) You have too many friends. Let’s face it, you have so many friends you can’t imagine trying to juggle any more. Half of the time these so called ‘friends’ are more trouble than they are worth; constantly inviting you to social events, inquiring about the health of your family and personal life, and offering their wisdom and guidance. Sometimes a man just needs to be alone.

(2) You like to lie, cheat, and steal. The reality of the situation is that you are good at what you do. You know how to tell people what they want to hear and have never found a situation where a lie, or half-truth, wouldn’t offer you some advantage. The thought of joining an institution that requires you to be ‘square’ and honest in all of your dealings with your fellow man is fundamentally contrary to your character.

(3) You are a nonconformist. You hate every fad, trend, or anything that anyone else is doing in the world. You are so much of a non-conformist that that your are literally a conformist to the non-conformist lifestyle. How could you be a ‘joiner’ of a club and follow their rules? Even if you consider that these are rules you completely agree with, you would still be ‘joining’ something and conforming to a particular code of ethics. This action would be so contrary to your personal identity that you could never join a group that limits its membership to men of good character and encourages them to live their lives by the highest standards of morality.

(4) You are a stingy bastard. The fact of the matter is that you worked hard for your money and see absolutely no reason to spend one penny of it to help anyone else. Senior Citizens, burn victims, children with birth defects, widows, orphans, youth, all deadbeats. Not only do they not deserve any support or help, there is nothing you would get out of either. In fact, even if all they want from you is some of your time, who has that any more either?

(5) You are a religious fundamentalist and believe the dogma of your faith is the only one true path to salvation. You believe that your only duty in this world is to convert other human beings to your faith, or **** them to hell if you fail. You have no room for 'so called' religious tolerance, and this idiotic ideal of ‘freedom of religion’ is a liberal commie plot by those pot-spoking hippies in the American Revolution.

(6) You are a material reductionist. You believe that there is no such thing as God. Not Spinoza’s God and not any one definition will suffice. You believe that anyone stupid enough to believe in a God is a damnable idiot. You believe that the Universe is a Netwonian tick-tock world of billiard ball atoms and molecules, that there was no big-bang, and that human consciousness is a random glitch in the random process of selfish-gene evolution. You believe that life itself is meaningless and serves no higher purpose beyond self-gratification.

(7) You hate the Bill of Rights and the Declaration of Independence. You think the American Revolution, and the Enlightment in general, was a scam. You believe the world ran better when men were uneducated, lived in fear of religious persecution, under Monarchies, dictatorships, and that free thought was a concept reserved for dreaming kittens, not the working class of a society. You do not believe all men are created equal, nor do they have the right to pursue happiness. You do not believe in justice, liberty, equality, freedom of religion, freedom of speech, or any form of representative government. Since these are all of the core tenets of Freemasonry, established by Freemasons in the American Revolution, there can be no doubt that this institution would disagee with you most heartedly.

(8) You are too busy. Once again, let’s face it. You have too much TV to watch. You have a two hour commute every day. You have soccer practice, swim-team, World of Warcraft, XBOX, Playstation, and many other critical demands on your time. In fact, it is completely outside of your power to change your schedule and priorties to engage in social interaction with your community. You don’t know who the people are in your community and have no reason to become involved. It is literally impossible for you to ‘make time’, ‘shift priorities’, or re-evaluate for yourself just what really is important in life. You have a job to go to, you have a video game to play, and Netflix and Tivo to get caught up on. How in the world could you attend five, six, ten meetings a year? How could you go to a charity fund raiser or support a youth group? This is all simply crazy talk at this point.

(9) You hate tradition and history. Tradition is stupid. History is stupid. We are in the modern world now. There is nothing worth preserving. Not buildings and, certainly not, oral traditions. Does it matter that a tradition has been around in human civilization for hundreds (if not thousands) of years? Not one bit! Let it die! Remember when people used to try to only speak Latin in the Latin quarter in Paris? What fools! Remember when your Grandfather, Uncles, and other relatives were involved in Masonry? What a bunch of old doddering fools. Why would you want to sustain and support an anachronistic, outdated, and pointless ritualistic ceremony that has long since outlived its purpose? In today’s society there is no point in carying on a tradition such as this, or any other.

(10) You have no intention of ‘improving’ yourself. You are perfect just the way you are, in every way possible. There is nothing you could do to improve your social skills in public speaking, mentoring youth, charitable service, making conversation, or keeping your mind sharp. Your character is impeccable and there is nothing you could do to make it any better than it is today. Were you to join Freemasonry you would merely have to teach others the great skills you already posses, thus making the entire exercise pointless.__________________